Purpose
How do I discover my best self?
Picture in detail who you want to be, compare it with who you are today and choose one habit that closes the gap. Your best self is a path, not a product.
bairogonzalez.com team, drawing on Bairo's story · Published
"Be your best self" has become a poster slogan. But to someone on the ground, it can sound like pressure. Here, best self means something simpler and more honest: the person you would be if fear, fatigue and wounds didn't decide for you.
What to do now
- Picture it in detail. Close your eyes and describe an ordinary day of your best self a few years from now. Where you wake up, whom you talk to, what you do, how you treat people, how you feel. Write it down.
- Compare it with today, without cruelty. Where is the biggest gap? Health, relationships, work, faith, peace? Choose just one area to start.
- Turn the image into a habit. Your best self doesn't arrive in one leap; it arrives through repetition. If that person takes care of their body, start with a walk. If they study, start with half an hour a day.
- Ask for help from those who have come close. Mentors, friends, people you admire. Ask how they did it. The answer is almost always less glamorous and more practical than you'd imagine.
- Forgive your earlier versions. The versions of you that made mistakes also taught you. You don't need to erase them to grow.
- Look for the best version of others. By seeing the best in people, you train your eye to see the best in yourself.
- Take care of your mental health. If the gap between who you are and who you wanted to be causes intense suffering, seek support. CVV at 188; primary health units (UBS) and psychosocial care centers (CAPS) through SUS.
When it happened to Bairo
Bairo Leandro Gonzalez Martinez says he saw his best self in a time of faith and silence, after reaching rock bottom. He describes it this way: a prosperous man, not only in money, in peace. A man who trusted his God blindly.
He came out of that experience with an image and no map. He didn't know how to code. So he asked, in his words, for wisdom, understanding and courage to remember how to get there. Notice the verb: he didn't ask to learn the way. He asked to remember. For him, he had already seen the end; what was missing was building the middle.
He built it: six months at home, in front of the computer, and then, together with others, the steps he calls the seventh attempt.
The path
Bairo says that today he cultivates one habit: looking for the best version of each person. It makes sense. For years, he searched for his own, going through the no, going broke, abandonment and silence. Whoever has searched for their own best self learns to look for other people's. Start with the image. Then, one habit at a time, build the middle.
Be careful not to turn your best self into one more source of pressure. It's not a goal you must reach to deserve respect; it's a direction you choose to follow. Some days you'll be closer to it; other days, further away. What matters is returning to the direction, again and again. That is what, little by little, turns the image into reality.