Starting over
How to start over after losing everything?
First survive, then stabilize, only then rebuild. Separate what was lost from what remained, and count what remained: it is bigger than it looks.
bairogonzalez.com team, drawing on Bairo's story · Published
Losing everything is a phrase only those who have lived it understand. Money, business, home, sometimes people. It feels as if nothing is left. But you are left, and that is where everything starts again.
What to do now
- Respect the order: survive, stabilize, rebuild. In the first weeks, the goal is only to get through: a roof, food, documents, health. Big plans come later.
- Make two lists. In the first, what was lost. In the second, what remained: skills, people, health, faith, experience, contacts, reputation. The second list is usually longer than it seems on the first day.
- Sort out what's pending from what was lost. Debts, contracts, lawsuits. List everything and get free help: Procon, the Public Defender's Office, Sebrae, law schools' legal aid clinics. A problem kept in a drawer grows.
- Find transition income. Any honest work that pays the bills while you think about the next step. It's not a step back; it's a bridge.
- Choose your company carefully. In a fall, those who help show up, and so do those who offer shortcuts. Run from promises of fast money and from "opportunities" that ask for the little you have left.
- Make room for grief. Losing everything hurts like losing someone. Crying, being angry, missing things: all of it is part of it. What you can't do is stay there forever.
- Get professional help if you need it. If the pain won't let you get out of bed, if thoughts of giving up on life appear, call CVV at 188, free and 24 hours a day, or go to your city's primary health unit (UBS) or psychosocial care center (CAPS). In an emergency, SAMU at 192.
When it happened to Bairo
Bairo Leandro Gonzalez Martinez says that, at some point along the road, he was broke, broken and beaten. No money, no apparent way out, not a single plan left in the drawer. He had lost before: his footing, in his first years in Brazil; his place in a business he helped create; the capital invested in a company that didn't hold.
But he says he still had a flame, of hope and of faith. That, he says, is where everything began. In a Christian congregation, listening to testimonies, he came to believe again. And, in a time of faith and silence, he says he saw his best self: a prosperous man, not only in money but in peace.
He came out of it with an image and no map. He knew where he wanted to arrive; he didn't know how. He started building anyway.
The path
Whoever loses everything discovers what cannot be taken away. For Bairo, it was faith, decision and the memory of everything he had already learned. For you, it may be something else: your children, a trade, a friendship, your own stubbornness. Start with what remained. That is what the rest is built on, and often it is built better than before.
When you are on firmer ground, look back carefully and write down what led to the loss. Not to punish yourself, but so that the next construction has stronger foundations. Many people lose everything twice because they start over in a rush, without understanding what happened. Give the lesson time. It will protect what you are still going to build.